Monday, March 27, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Secret Origin of The Wonder Twins!!

It's kinda surprising that they never dedicated an entire issue of Secret Origins to these guys.

But I guess that's why they keep me around...

So, with no further ado:

And you're welcome.

From Super Friends #14 (1978)

Manic Monday Bonus--Why Female Nuclear Scientists Should Avoid Love!


Lorraine was, as they said back in the day, a bookworm, a grind, a nerd...

So intent was Lorraine on her studies, she disdained romance in all its forms:

And, we have to say, it paid off handsomely...even though male scientists are jerks!

But they'll all be sneering out of the other side of their mouths when she wins the Nobel!

Still, Lorraine would not let love into her life...even when an uncouth carnival barker (yes, a carnival barker!!) put the moves on her. Like a Vulcan, a nuclear physicist must repress every emotion!

Ah, but when a suave fellow scientist begins to woo her, well, down come the walls of Jericho!

Well, it doesn't take long until the couple is swept love!!

Even the gossip columns of the day took note of the romantic lives of atomic scientists!!!

Pierre insists they elope...

Oh, but this isn't going to end well, is it?

We shouldn't be too harsh on Lorraine. Who amongst us hasn't had a significant other turn out to be a Fourth Reich Nazi who secretly replaced a famous person who died in a concentration camp? It's practically a cliche!

Ahh, but the Nazis didn't reckon on Ed the smitten carnival barker!!

Woo hoo!

And so:

Well, that's a recipe for a successful marriage!!

...I give them two weeks.

Anyway, the moral is, if you're a nuclear physicist, don't fall in love. Or the Nazis will get you.

From Search For Love #2 (1950)

Manic Monday--Doctor Glitternight!!

Just a friendly reminder...

...Marvel has a villain named Doctor Glitternight...and they haven't used him for over 40 years (no, of course we do not count the flashback panels in the back-up story in Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme #27 (1991))

What the hell is up with that. Marvel?

Also, this is your reminder that Doug Moench was writing Werewolf By Night and Master Of Kung Fu at the same time...and yet never had a crossover. What the hell is up with that, Marvel & Moench?!?

Werewolf By Night #28-29 are from 1975. My disappointment that we never had a Shang-Chi/Jack Russell meeting is eternal...

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Aim High, Claire Hannon--Aim High!!

There are high stakes politics, and then there are HIGH-STAKES POLITICS:

Blown up for emphasis:

Aim high, Claire Hannon--aim high!!!

Doctoral theses in political science have been written over the power struggles to control the Lawnhaven Square Women's Club.

The Lawnhaven Square Women's Club would later go on to rule the world...until ruthlessly crushed by Darkseid.

From Romantic Story #13 (1951)

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Why Captain Marvel Would Get On Well With Wonder Woman?

Much has been made of the bondage aspects of early Wonder Woman comics.

But where's the talk about the Marvel Family?

Every issue--I mean literally every issue--has at least one story where the hero(es) are captured, bound and gagged in their non-Marvelous form. Every. Goshdarned. Issue. Fawcett City must lead the nation in gag sales.

Of course, gagging is a necessary story contrivance, given the nature of their powers. Still, it can come across as, well, kind of creepy to modern eyes, to constantly see children bound and gagged.

Of course, Billy and Mary and Freddy always managed to get the gag off in the nick of time...which probably says something about the knot-tying competence of the average criminal they faced.

Sometimes, though, the way they removed the gag was quite...well, freakin' painful. 

Billy has been--surprise--bound and gagged, and stuck inside a "time capsule" not to be opened until the year 5000!!

Billy, though, doesn't mind living with the pain it takes to get out:

OK, a concussion and severe head lacerations?

And now severe facial cuts. Geez, Billy, you might have been better off taking the time to chew through the gag...

The Marvel Family. Pain and bondage. Your move, Wonder Woman!

From Marvel Family #33 (1949)

Friday, March 24, 2017

Friday Night Fights--Triple Doom Style!!

Short but sweet for tonight's Friday Night Fights!

Three Doctor Dooms have taken over the grand opening of the Avengers' new headquarters. Surprise--they're Doombots!

So Captain America takes care of his:

The Vision--who is radder than you think--has little problem with his:

And finally, well, it's Rage against the machine!

Triple knock-out!!!

Spacebooger want to see an all-out Doombot vs. LMD war.

3 Doombots, 3 loud finishes from Avengers #333 (1991), by Larry Hama, Herb Trimpe (breakdowns) and Tom Morgan & Reggie Jones (finishes)

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Where there's 3 Doombots, there are probably more--so be safe and vote for the only proven Doombot eliminator! Now go vote!!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Revealed: The Plot Of The Defenders Netflix Series!!

The Avengers are trying to track down the latest incarnation of The Sons of The Serpent... more time, Cap?

Oh, SNAP, Cap!! Rip the "non -team" for their non-record keeping!!

So, that's gotta be the plot for Netflix's Defenders, right? Steve Rogers shows up and puts them through filing boot camp!!

Hey, it beats fighting the Hand (again)...

From Avengers #342 (1991)

That Time Lobo Fought The Avengers And The New Warriors?!?

Covers never lie!

OK, OK, that's not Lobo. The colorist of the cover blew it...the character doesn't have chalk white skin on the inside of the book. So we just have a cover where it just looks like Lobo is kicking as in the Marvel Universe.

So who is this guy?

He's the energy/emotions vampire who was the early 90s version of the Hate Monger (he later changed his name to Animus).

And how do we really know that he's evil?

Because he keeps quoting the Rolling Stones?!?!

BONUS RAINY DAY ACTIVITY: Take the Heat Miser song, and replace the words "Heat Miser" with "Hate Monger." Sing loudly!!

From Avengers #342 (1991)

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Oliver Queen--Bastion of Journalistic Ethics (Eventually)!

A couple of weeks ago, we took a gander at just how good a journalist Oliver Queen was during his "former billionaire writes a column for a major metropolitan newspaper" phase. We were all pretty impressed, actually.

Well, now it's time to see how Oliver performs under actual pressure.

A "stoolie" gave him a hot tip about a secret mob drug deal, which allowed Green Arrow to put a kibosh on the operation.

But it also attracted the attention of the police...

Oh, Oliver...

Now, you'd think that the editor of a major metropolitan newspaper would support his star reporter protecting a source. Surprisingly, though, George Taylor of the Daily Star apparently skipped that day in journalism school...

Journalism Rule #1: "Only protect your sources if they're fine, upstanding citizens. Betray the scumbags as quickly as possible!"

And so, the police take the next step...

Things don't go well in court for Oliver:

And you'd think his super-hero girlfriend might take his side. But, no:

Just to remind you, this snitch blew a major mafia drug deal, and might very well be killed if his name is revealed. "But is it so much"?!?

Anyway, as he is wont to do when actual thought weigh upon him, Oliver heads for his Deserted Island Of Solitude:

I'm kinda shocked that Oliver never turned this place into an amusement park or something...

Now he's finally come to a decision:


Apparently, they never had Woodward and Bernstein on Earth-1.

But his real reason for giving in?

He'd rather keep getting regular nookie than protect his source!!

Dinah, who's seemingly had a change of heart, talks Oliver down...

Which, when you translate the psycho-babble, means:

Oliver Queen--doing the right thing (eventually).

Serious question: did this ever happen to Clark Kent? I mean, there has to have been a story where Clark was forced to choose between revealing a source or doing jail time, but he can't do the jail time because Superman is needed and...They MUST have done that story, right?!? Anyone?!?

From World's Finest Comics #274 (1981)