Tuesday, April 25, 2017

April Madness--The Bracket!!

Last week, I announced The Seven Justice Soldiers Of The Victory League Society contest.

Long story short, I took the grouping of heroes sent on various missions from the greatest JLA/JSA crossover ever, and I've pitted them against each other in a tournament...just because.

Anyway, the first step in any such tournament is seeding the teams and assigning them into brackets. So, using the power invested in me by no one in particular, here's our bracket (click to embiggen):

Stay tuned...the first round is later this morning!

Monday, April 24, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--Can You Hear Me Now?

I really don't understand why Gorilla City hasn't conquered the business world yet, and become richer than Steve Jobs or Verizon.

Back in 1959, Solivar had to get in touch with the Flash, who had been to Gorilla City once before.

Not a problem!










See--who the hell needs cell phones? Everyone has their own personal "vibration-frequency," and you can just send an "energy burst" "in the beat of an atom pulse" there and talk to them!! No wires, no cell towers, no data plans--just start yakking!!

All I'm saying is, Solivar should patent that shit and become a trillionaire...

From Flash #107 (1959)

Manic Monday Bonus--Science Vs. Entropy!!

Some scientists are driving through the Everglades, looking to set up an alternative energy research station.

Unfortunately, not everyone is down with modern, new-fangled science:





And these guys don't just talk the talk--they walk the walk!!


I think that most of these guys got jumps in the current administration...

From Giant-Size Man-Thing #1 (1974)

Manic Monday--Not-So-Secret

Faith is hangin' with a couple of friends who know her super-hero identity:

Testify, sister.

I've seen some folks praise the CW approach as "doing away" with the cliche of secret identities, which were an "obstacle" to good writing.

The problem, of course, is that those shows haven't had the courage to actually do away with secret identities. The public at large doesn't know that Barry is the Flash, or that Kara is Supergirl. They still jump through the same hoops keeping their bosses and other folks in the dark about their civilian identities.

Nope, instead they've just created a comfort peer group, 5-12 people every episode who just hang around HQ chillin' with our heroes, like some millennial Friends for super-heroes. Sure, there's no way a circle that big could ever keep a secret like that too long from a determined villain--but just relax, we're all bros, here!

When the Flash pulls off his mask in public and everyone knows that he's Barry Allen, then you can give CW credit for doing away with the cliche. Until then, not so much.

From Faith #10 (2017)

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Death O'Clock!!!

The next time someone asks you what time it is...tell them:

That will make you look oh so Goth and cool and rebellious!!

Oh, you want some context first?

Frankenstein has befriended Koro, the hunchback who is the town bell-ringer in the clock tower. But the village "half-wit" wants the job for himself, so he sneaks over in the middle of the night to kill Koro.

Of course, the problem with that is when Koro has a new friend...

...who's not shy about killing in defense of friends:

Death O'Clock, man!!

From Frankenstein #33 (1954)

Saturday, April 22, 2017

April Madness--The Seven Justice Soldiers of The Victory League Society!!

Of course, the greatest of all of the Justice League/Justice Society team-ups took place in Justice League of America #100-103 (1972):



I will accept no opposing opinions on this. Earth-2 is about to be destroyed by a giant "nebular" space hand, and the JLAers & JSAers must traipse through time and space to recover the long-lost members of the Seven Soldiers Of Victory, who had the secret of stopping the hand.

Comics, brother.

(Those covers are by Nick Cardy, BTW. Awesome)

Anyway, as was the style in those days, the heroes broke into mixed teams to track down the Soldiers, and it got me thinking...if these temporary mini-teams had to fight each other, who would win?

Yes, I'm an idiot.

Anyway, presenting your teams:

Earth-1 Atom, if there's any question.

Earth-1 Superman, and gas-mask wearing Sandman.

Earth-1 Hawkman, Earth-2 Wonder Woman. And who knew that Doc Mid-Nite had a little "Rx" in his logo? "My prescription for you...is JAIL!!!"

Earth-1 Batman.

Earth-1 Green Arrow.

Hal Jordan Green Lantern.

Earth-1 Flash.

That's seven...let's use these guys, who showed up late, to make it an even 8:

That's Earth-2 Green Lantern, Robin/Batman of Earth-2, and Mr. Terrific.

So pick your team--who would win?

Next week, we'll break them into brackets, and begin the April madness that is The Seven Justice Soldiers Of The Victory League Society!!

Friday, April 21, 2017

Friday Night Fights--KKRUNCHH Style!!

No clever intro for this week's Friday Night Fights--just the world's greatest fighter doing what he does best--fighting!!

It's one of those JLA/JSA crossover thingies, as they have to split up into teams and search through time and space to find the missing members of the Seven Soldiers Of Victory! Green Lantern (Earth-1), Aquaman and Wildcat have gone back to prehistoric times to grab the Star-Spangled Kid.

Conveniently, the area is saturated with a "yellow fog," so Hal's ring is useless. And they're on dry land, so we know how useful Aquaman is.

Don't worry, though. When a tribe of Cro-Magnons attack our boys, all you need is Ted Grant:






KKRUNCHH!!

Spacebooger is pretty sure that Wildcat just changed history there...

Heavyweight boxer vs caveman from Justice League Of America #102 (1972), by Len Wein, Dick Dillon, and Joe Giella & Dick Giordano

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight! Why? Because what could be better than Ted Grant taking down a giant caveman? So go and vote!!

Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Day DC Geography Changed Forever!!!

If you know me at all, you know I've wasted a ridiculous portion of my adult life trying figure the perplexities of DC Geography, specifically the location of their "extra" cities, and most specifically the locations of Gotham City and Metropolis.

I've studied highway signs, and more highway signs, and pursued many a clue, to no real success.

They're both cities with seaports, they're relatively close...and that's about it. Most people go for Connecticut and New Jersey, but the frighteningly inconsistent informational crumbs DC has tossed out leave most of the northeastern seaboard--anywhere from Massachusetts to Maryland being a possibility.

But sometimes, a piece of information gets unveiled, which, well, changes your entire worldview.

In this week's Batman #21 (don't worry, spoiler free), there's a hockey game playing in the early pages...and the announcers tell us this:


Wait Wait Wait WAIT!!!!!!!!

Both Gotham City and Metropolis are in the WESTERN Conference?!? What the...

Look, I'll be the first to admit that sports conference/division alignments can be a bit less than geographically accurate. Sometimes there's tradition; sometimes there's difficulty to getting teams to agree to switching divisions when one team relocates; sometimes there seems to be no reason. The Dallas Cowboys are in the NFC East because no one wanted to break up their rivalries. For two decades Atlanta and Cincinnati played in baseball's NL West, while Chicago and St. Louis played in the NL East. Go figure.

Still, it be exceptionally rare for one team physically on the east coast to be assigned to play in the Western Conference. Two would be pretty much insane. If for no other reason than the travel burdens on those teams--most of their games would be in their own conference, so their travel time/expenses would be astronomical compared to other teams in the own conference! I'm not saying it couldn't happen...just that (on our Earth, at least), it probably wouldn't happen.

So if Gotham and Metropolis are both seaports AND play in the Western Conference, well...is DC telling us that they're on the West Coast?!?

I know I jokingly toyed with clues in The Dark Knight Rises that sorta could have been taken to imply that Gotham City was in California, but seriously?

For what it's worth, the snow we've seen in both cities probably puts southern California right out of the picture. Northern California? Oregon? Washington?

The bigger question is--are we meant to take this seriously? Have Metropolis and Gotham always been on the west coast? Or just since nu52, or Rebirth, and this is a clue that someone is mucking with reality?

Or maybe it's just a writing/lettering/editing snafu....

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

The Worst Cover You've Never Seen--X-Force #22 (1993)

The crimes of the 1990s will never end...

I can imagine the conversation...

SAM: Guys, we're some of the most powerful mutants on the planet--why do we need these guns, anyway?
SHATTERSTAR: GUNS!!!
SAM: But don't you usually use swords, Shatterstar?
SHATTERSTAR: GUNS! GUNS THAT SHOOT SWORDS!!!!
SAM: What about you, Rictor? You can make flippin' earthquakes! Why would you need a gun?
RICTOR: Dude, because they're so shiny and cool!!
SAM: Sigh...what about you, Bobby?
BOBBY: Sounds like someone is jealous that I have the biggest gun!!
SHATTERSTAR: (snorts). Mine's bigger!!

Cover by Greg Capullo

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Bold Fashion Choices--This Explains Director Krennic!!

Earlier this week we discussed that Dick Cole attended Farr Military Academy.

Since then, literally none of you have written asking for details of this seemingly amazing place.

Well, here you go!


Wait wait wait wait:

A dress cape!! Man, if anybody had told me dress capes (and killing dinosaurs) were involved, maybe I would have gone to a military academy.

This clearly explains this guy's fashion sense:



I'm now starting my Director Krennic/Dick Cole fanfic...

From 4Most #1 (1942)