Monday, February 29, 2016

Manic Leapday Triple Overtime--Great Moments In Black Widow Montages!

I can't think of a better way to finish off Leap Day than by wallowing in Natasha Romanov goodness from her run in Amazing Adventures.

The first few issues, they tended to start off with a montage splash page, like this one...

But that wasn't enough, so we had a training montage in side the story...

Issue #2? Let's do it again!

For issue #3, Gene Colan picks up the torch...

Even Dandy Don Heck got in on the fun:

Montage, won't you?

From Amazing Adventures #1-3 & #7 (1970-71)

Manic Leapday Bonus--Who Needs Wonder Woman's Lasso?

It turns out that Green Lantern has his own way of compelling crooks to tell the truth:


Well, that seems to be even a bit more harsh than the Golden Lasso--it doesn't just compel people to tell the truth, it scares the bejeezus out of them to get them to tell the truth!! "Talk else the ring will crush you!"

And later, Alan Scott compels the criminal boss/police commissioner to confess--on the air!

Well, that was easy!

The question of any of these compelled confessions standing up in court aside, this was clearly a case where the creators went a little too far with a hero's power. Why the heck couldn't Green Lantern wrap up every case in about 3 pages this way? So, fortunately, they backed away from it, creators only pulling it out when they were lazy or had painted themselves into a corner.

And most importantly, there's no way we could let Hal Jordan have a power like that, right? I shudder just to think about it!

From All-Star Comics #3 (1940)

Manic Leapday--Curses!!

I am the son of a truck driver, so believe me, I know a thing or two about putting profane or taboo words into a powerful, gut-rending, fear-inducing sequence.

But I will never, ever be able to swear like this guy:

Holy crap!! 

Seriously, I can't even begin to translate that without my keyboard catching fire!!

So try saying this at work or school today!! You'll be glad you did!

From Dell Four Color #13 (1942)

Sunday, February 28, 2016

What They Didn't Tell You On Law & Order (Or, Jack McCoy Vs. Batroc?!?)!

If your town has a crime problem,who you gonna call?

That's right!

Mr. District Attorney was a long-running radio show. And the character never had a name!! He was just always referred as "Mr. District Attorney," or sometimes Chief. When the show eventually was adapted as an early TV series, they gave him a name, because television ruins everything. So then he became known as Paul Garrett on both radio and TV.

But for our purposes, in Dell Four Color #13 (1942), he was just known as Mr. District Attorney.

Now, you've watched enough Law & Order that you may think you know all about what a district attorney does. Well, let me tell you, you're wrong!

District attorneys go out in the field, and engage in violent fisticuffs with felons!

Mr. District Attorney can even overcome crazy French-Canadian Kung Fu!

And, well, he's not above threatening to kill the bad guys...

He's also not above actually killing the bad guys!!

You'd think that physically beating up your suspects, holding a gun on them, and killing some would perhaps make for some serious constitutional issues when it came time for Mr. District Attorney to actually prosecute the bad guys in court.

Not in Midvale City!!

For what it's worth, in the eleven (11!) stories in this comic, Mr. District Attorney never once sets foot in a courtroom, or makes a motion, or does anything resembling prosecution.

Killing the bad guys, though? Yup, he does that!

And not just people...

He shoots leaping snakes out of mid-air!!!!!!!

And he goes undercover to foil criminals...

...with the best comeback line in history!!

Man oh man, we really need more district attorneys like this on TV!! Law & Order: Kicking The Crap Outta Bad Guys Squad?

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Monkey-Rhino Team-Up You've Always Wanted!

It's been a while since we've checked in with Marga The Panther Woman. What's she up to?

Oh, just a bit of jungle bondage. What can you do?

Well, her pet monkey--who is named Chimp, even though he's not a chimp--is going to help her get out of this mess:

I love it when a plan comes together!

From Weird Comics #17 (1941)

Friday, February 26, 2016

Friday Night Fights--Fully Functional Style!

Acts Of Vengeance was pretty stupid, as we'll find out in this week's Friday Night Fights.

See, the whole idea was that villains "trade" the heroes they usually fight. That way, the good guys wouldn't be familiar with the bad guys' M.O. and weaknesses, and they'd be able to take down the super-heroes.

Of course, this ignored the other side of the equation: the new villains wouldn't be familiar with the heroes, either, and so any surprise would also work against them.

Case in point: a few dozen minor super-villains have been showing up and attacking the Fantastic Four out of nowhere. The FF track the source of the problem to a Doombot, and...


Yeah, this was one of the periods when Ben Grimm was human, and was wearing the exo-skeleton. Too bad the Super-Adaptoid was the Stupid-Adaptoid and didn't know that...

Spacebooger wants a Super-Adaptoid/Super-Skrull fight!!

You really should know your targets better in Fantastic Four #336 (1990), by Walter Simonson, Ron Lim and Mike DeCarlo

Now is the time for you to go and vote for my fight. Why? Because Ben taking down the Super-Adaptoid single handed is the coolest thing you'll see this weekend. So go and vote!!

Thursday, February 25, 2016

The 1971 Version Of Spotify!!

Back in 1971, we didn't need no Spotify or Pandora to put together "playlists" of our favorite music...and we didn't have any "cloud" to store them on!

Nope, "playlists" of our favorite songs were sent to us--physically! On vinyl!!

Yip, Crystal Corp put together compilation of hits (hopefully legally...) and sold 'em to kids through comic books!!

So, let's play a little game. Let's say that you only had $3.49, but just had to have some music in your life. Which "playlist" would you "download"?

Solid Gold Hits? (Click on the link to see the complete track listing...

Happening Hits?

Groovy Hits?

Heavy Hits? (I'd presume "heavy" is the 1970s "heavy, man," and not heavy metal...

Or how about Solid Hits?

Choose wisely, friends--in those days, music was a physical thing, and people could see your record collection, and judge you by it...

From World's Finest Comics #200 (1971)