Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Wonder Woman Knows How To Whistle, Apparently

I know, I know, I've already done too many posts from Wonder Woman #62 (1953).

What can I say, it's the comic that keeps on giving!

So, Diana has flown up to stop the Martians from invading Earth. But sadly, the Martians have super-weapons!


But you're frozen solid, Diana! What can you do?



"Gigantic friction?"  In space?

Never mind about that! Can we get back to the fact that Wonder Woman operated her plane by inhaling and exhaling?!? WTF?!?!

This is reason #2,716 why young Lauren Bacall should have played Wonder Woman. "You know how to operate an invisible aircraft, don't you, Steve Trevor? You just put your lips together and...blow."

Yes, I'm going to hell for that.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Orignal Acts Of Vengeance!!

Hey remember that Marvel crossover event, Acts of Vengeance, from 25 years ago?

25 years ago?!?! Geez, I'm old...

Anyway, Loki tricked a bunch of major villains into sending lesser villains against heroes that weren't their usual foes. See, the unfamiliarity would make the villains more effective against the heroes!! (Hey, Loki, why wouldn't that work both ways?? Shh...)

Anyway, like most of Loki's plans, it was a stinker, no one got hurt, nothing really changed, yada yada.

But the most amazing thing was, Stan and Jack had already done that story, 25 years earlier. And instead of an overstuffed, over-sprawling, "company-wide" crossover that spanned 70 some issues, they did it in one issue.

See, Dr. Doom used his "emotion charger" to influence basically every bad guy to go bust up Reed and Sue's wedding! But there were plenty of super-powered guests who pitched in to help repel the gate-crashers, so we had plenty of foes who had never met before facing off!!

For example, S.H.I.E.L.D. took down the Puppet Master's plan:

The Mole Man and his hoards were taken down by the X-Men!

Red Ghost and his Super Apes?

Doctor Strange took care of them!

Thor fought the Super-Skrull!

Daredevil took on HYDRA!

Captain America took on Cobra and the Executioner and the Enchantress!

Mr Hyde? Hawkeye was all over that!

Iron Man faced off against the Mad Thinker's Awesome Android!

Quicksilver battled the Human Top!!

And, well, everybody fought everybody!!

And it only took one issue.

So let that be a lesson to all you over-padded, "decompressed," "wide-screen," multi-month money-sucks: One issue. That's all you really need.

Plus, Kirby was never late, so we never had to delay an entire line so you could finish your "epic."

I'm. Just. Sayin'.

From Fantastic Four Annual #3 (1965)

Manic Monday Bonus--Riverdale, The Silent Years!!

Archie and Jughead have been amused by some olde tyme movies!!

Yes, we can imagine...

So, not that different from a regular day at Riverdale...

From Archie Annual #26 (1975)

Manic Monday--Why The Bat-Signal Is A Pretty Terrible Idea!!

If you think about it,the Bat-Signal is a terrible idea.

I mean, putting out a general call for your super-hero, that everybody can see? What could possibly go wrong?!?

Take, for example, the time they used the Bat-Signal of the 1940s--the newspaper ad--to get in touch with the Fighting Yank...

Really, that won't cause any problems--right?


Yeah--all the drunks, idiots and wannabes will show up, claiming to be the real thing!

The inevitable result--a little ultra-violence!!

So the hero has to waste time settling their hash before getting around to the urgent problem he was summoned for!

OK, that may have a bit harsh...

But the same principal must apply to Gotham City, right? Every time the Bat-Signal flares up, the nut-jobs and poseurs must turn-out, right? Not to mention the paparazzi, the lawyers, the super-villains, and the guys in hockey pads...

Look, governments and police commissioners--just use Twitter DM's or email lto get ahold of your heroes...it will save a lot of hassle in the long run.

From Startling Comics #27 (1944) and some Batman movie...

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Golden Age Idol--Masked Raider And Talon!!

OK, I'm probably bending the Golden Age rules a bit here, as this duo debuted in 1955.

But it's such a glorious idea that I'm running with it anyway. My blog, my rules, nyah!!

Who am I talking about?!?

Oh, yeah.

We start as young Les Wilcox is visiting his uncle. Unfortunately, his timing is pretty terrible:

Well, Les sprains his ankle pretty badly in escaping, but manages to hole up in a secret cave...but he's not alone!


Well, they kind of nurse each other back to health. But when Les goes off to get some food...

Yup, if you kill a mountain lion to rescue an eagle, he becomes your friend for life!!! That's one of the iron laws of nature!!

Ah, but Jud Holt hasn't stopped looking for Les, and...


And so was born the West's greatest heroic team:

Les became a bookworm lawyer, but when trouble showed up...

Did I mention that Talon is pretty much a genius for a bird?

And if you were a varmint, you really didn't want to get on Talon's bad side...

...because you'd usually end up DEAD!!!!

The first Masked Raider series lasted only 8 issues, and the last three became The Masked Raider Presents Billy The Kid, with our heroes gradually disappearing from their own book.

But someone Charlton must have liked the concept, because a year later their Dan'l Boone title changed it's name to Masked Raider, and Les and Talon enjoyed a 17 issue run.

But since then? Nothing.

Which is a shame, because good gosh, a wimpy lawyer who is really a badass Western gunfighter with A GIANT KILLER GOLDEN EAGLE as his sidekick is kind of the most brilliant concept ever.

That said, there are potential problems...Marvel had a Western hero named The Masked Raider (back in Marvel Comics #1!!) which might present some trademark problems; and of course DC currently has a Talon.

So, let's split the difference! Let's revive Masked Raider And Talon as a joint Marvel/DC publication!! The first step in a detente between the two companies!! A Nimbus III of the publishing world, as it were!!

Yeah, I know, it'll never happen...

From Masked Raider #1 (1955)