Monday, March 1, 2010

Manic-Monday--How Warren Buffet Became A Millionaire

In the opinion of 1940s comic book taxi drivers, there's one very clear distinction between millionaires and evil employees posing as millionaires. And you wouldn't doubt the word of Hack O'Hara, long-running star of his own feature in Crack Comics, would you?

We start as Burke, the evil personal secretary of kindly millionaire Andrew Crane, has launched his own get-rich-quick scheme:

Yup, he forced his boss to sign withdrawal slips, and then disguised himself as his boss, so he can go to the bank and get oodles of cash.

Plot flaw number 1: maybe, just maybe, when engaging in such a nefarious scheme, one shouldn't take a cab to the scene of the crime...

But it works!! Hack O'Hara is fooled by the brilliant disguise, and this initial foray into banking fraud nets Burke a cool 20 grand in cash (not a tiny amount back in 1949!). So nothing now stands in the way of his ultimate goal--to empty all of Crane's accounts and run to "South America."

So what, then, gives Burke's evil scheme away?

That's right...he over-tips. And Hack knows that the millionaire could never have meant to tip that much, because:

Hack, the noble cabbie with a conscience, actually goes to return his $20 windfall...

While there, he overhears the villains plotting, thwarts them and frees Mr. Crane. So all that's left is to reiterate Hack O'Hara's theory on the rich:

Lesson: if you're wealthy, be stingy with the tips. It will save your life (and fortune!!)

Ironically, we're never told what reward--if any--the kindly millionaire gives Hack for saving his bacon. It'd better not be more than a dollar, or Hack might start punching him!

MOST MISLEADING SPLASH PANEL EVER:


Hack O'Hara shows why the discussion about tipping in Reservoir Dogs has immense practical value for crime-busting cabbies in Crack Comics #61 (1949).


2 comments:

Rottgutt said...

In that first pannel, is the real millionarie tied up, but they left his right arm free so he can accusingly point at his duplicate?

snell said...

Presumably, they left that hand untied so he could sign the withdrawal slip...but, as an unintended bonus, it allowed for the nice dramatic pointing effect!