Sunday, December 28, 2008

Stupidity Is Contagious At Marvel This Month

Today it's Jeph Loeb's turn.

Yesterday, we saw how Bendis deftly ignored stories that he had written just 5 minutes ago just to get the the story points he needed to get to.

But that's nothing. Jeph Loeb just ignored 35 years of Marvel history to get to one (supposedly) cool moment that last about 2 pages.

Let's review that history, shall we? First, Incredible Hulk #162 (1973), by Englehart and Trimpe:


And Incredible Hulk #180 (1974) by Wein & Trimpe:

And Uncanny X-Men #139 (1980) by Claremont and Byrne (and narrated by Wolverine):

And Incredible Hulk #272 (1982) by Mantlo and Sal Buscema:


I could go on. In Marvel Fanfare #2-3, Michael Fleet became Wendigo after turning to cannibalism. In Wolverine #129, Andre became a Wendigo after eating his own fingers. And on and on. (I'm thinking there's an awful lot of canniablism up north of the border, eh? Maybe Canada needed a few more Mickey D's...)

The is one universal constant: You become a Wendigo by a curse, when you consume human flesh in the forests of Canada. The curse can be cured, or transferred to another, by magics. But you don't get the curse except by eating human flesh in the north woods.

So what does Loeb (and Art Adams) give us in the green Hulk section of Red Hulk #9?


Yup...apparently, Jeph Loeb thinks that you become a Wendigo just by being bitten by a Wendigo. In Las Vegas. Without having eaten any Flesh McMuffins. Unless, of course, the Hulk has been munching on people fritters without telling us...

Jeph, you galoot, Wendigo werewolf. You'd think the guy would have actually read at least one Wendigo story being bringing in a hole herd of them. But maybe he did, and just decided that doing it right would have just gotten in the way of the "cool" Wendihulk bit he wanted to do (and then throw away 2 pages later). 35 years of Marvel history, flushed away for one ridiculously stupid moment.

Of course, such attention to detail from Loeb probably explains an awful lot about what's happened to Heroes the past couple of years...

Check out the best appearance of Wendigo EVER here:

11 comments:

Ragnell said...

Not just ignoring 35 years of Marvel continuity by turning Wendigos into werewolf clones, but a couple thousand years of American Folklore as well.

Siskoid said...

Don't worry, Loeb gets honored in this year's Siskoid Awards. He's really starting to fill up the Stupidest Moment category.

Anonymous said...

That's pretty much a snapshot of the guy's career these days. Back when I was routinely railing against his stuff on the Superman books, the "illogical but cool" tendency was in full swing. The guy's all about the cool moment or concept, but not very interested in setting them up in a compelling or coherent way.

Anonymous said...

Are we SURE ol' Hulk didn't sneak himself some Wendigo-fingers in between panels?

Michael May said...

He's even contradicting his OWN continuity. The very first caption in HULK #7 says, "The Wendigo is born out of humans eating human flesh. Cannibalism."

Michael May said...

I mean, the first caption on Page THREE of HULK #7. Oops.

Michael May said...

Oops, again. I really need to read more carefully before I write.

Right after the caption I just quoted, Banner also notes that Wendigos are traditionally bound to Canada, but that these aren't and must have somehow mutated.

Stupid? You bet. But at least it's an attempt to explain what happens later.

snell said...

Even if the Wendigos themselves mutated, would the curse? Plus, if it mutated in that way--anyone they bite turns (almost instantly) into a Wendigo--than wouldn't there be, well, thousands of them by now? What, they didn't bite anyone between Canada and Las Vegas?

Michael May said...

You're absolutely right. It's lame. I'm glad he attempted an explanation, but it's certainly not a very good or thought-out one.

Anonymous said...

I mean, one of those Wendigos had their fingers IN the Hulk's mouth in that first panel. Who's to say Hulkie didn't just close his mouth and just scarf them down? Mystery solved!

Saidi of the 90's said...

You become a Wendigo by a curse, when you consume human flesh in the forests of Canada.

I'll remember that if, I really hope so, I get to go to Canada , maybe I'll hire the fattest or the weakest guide I can come across, that's the hard part...
NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA !