Thursday, March 30, 2017

Ape Wake-Up Call!

Because some mornings...

...you just need to see Neal Adams draw a talking, shooting gorilla.

You're welcome.

From Kamandi Challenge #2 (2017)

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Lana Lang Invents The Internet Comment Forum!!

On Earth-2, Lana Lang has come to The Daily Star looking for a job as...

[Reminder--the Mr & Mrs. Superman series was set in the 1950s...]

Well, that's innovative!


And so...

Gee, I dunno...it still seems better than The Big Bang Theory.

But it's enough for Lana to bring out the poison pen:


Oh, Lana...




So of course, the writer tries to kill Lana with a device he bought from Luthor.

Hey, being a critic can be a tough job in a universe with super-villains!!

From Superman Family #203 (1980)

Why We're Lucky Batman Vs Superman Didn't Take Place On Earth-2!!

It's easy to forget some of the subtle differences between the Superman of Earth-1 and the Superman of Earth-2. One easy example: Earth-2's is named Kal-L, not Kal-El.

Here's another one most people have forgotten, as Clark Kent-2 has his first meeting with Lana Lang-2:

Wait, wait wait--what was that editor's note again, Julie?

Flash forward a few years, as Batman stands over a prone Kal-L with a kryptonite spear.

BATMAN: You were never a god. You were never even a man.

SUPERMAN: You're letting them kill Mary!!

BATMAN: Sorry, I don't know anyone by that name.

He plunges the spear into Superman's chest, killing him. 

THE END.

See? The ridiculous coincidence of their mothers having the same first name was a great plot point, and the only thing that stopped Batman from straight up murdering Superman (not to mention the brilliant screenwriting that set it up so that coincidence works if and only if Superman says "Save Martha" instead "Save my mom" or such...).

Too bad about Earth-2 getting wiped out by Doomsday, though...

From Superman Family #203 (1980)

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Bold Fashion Choices--Accept No Silver-Coated Substitutes!

I know that I am a lone voice in the wilderness on this...

...but Captain Atom's pre-Crisis uniform was the best. Period.

Yes, I'm crazy.

From DC Comics Presents #90 (1986)

Golden Age Idol--The Flag!!

Many a hero has clad themselves in the colors of our nation.

But few went as far to tie themselves to the flag as...The Flag!!

It begins thusly:




Just in case the reader hasn't been able to follow the litany of coincidences over the first page and a half, we get a convenient summary:

Oh, wait, and John has a nickname, too:

So, a crippled veteran flag maker known as "Old Glory" finds a baby with a flag-shaped birthmark on Flag Day. I sense a theme emerging...

Well, John names the baby Jim, and raises him to be as patriotic as all hell. And on Jim's 18th birthday:

And now, the greatest Golden Age Idol panel ever!!


Man, when Washington and Lincoln are recruiting you, you had best listen!!



Uh, fight Nazis. Duh.

Jim wakes up, and no, it wasn't all a dream.

His flagmaker father makes him...a flag costume. Kinda inevitable, right?

Can't say I'm crazy about that sash tied around his waist--why give enemies something to grab onto?

Otherwise, there was nothing too original or exciting about the Flag's adventures--fighting German spies and saboteurs and Nazi sneak attacks...

Well, wait. There was one interesting wrinkle--Jim could apparently give his powers to anyone who touched his birthmark!


Get a room, you two!!



There are some intriguing story possibilities there. What if someone refuses to give the powers back? What if an enemy touches his birthmark? What happen when he and a companion are in bed? What if gets a wound that mars the birthmark? Sadly, these were never explored, as the Flag only made 5 appearances.

Oh, and when called upon, the Flag could do skywriting, as in this story when he was trying to keep a Nazi cut-out from stealing an election:


Where the hell were you last November, Flag?!?

From Our Flag Comics #2 (1941) & #4 (1942)

Monday, March 27, 2017

Manic Monday Triple Overtime--The Secret Origin of The Wonder Twins!!

It's kinda surprising that they never dedicated an entire issue of Secret Origins to these guys.

But I guess that's why they keep me around...

So, with no further ado:




And you're welcome.

From Super Friends #14 (1978)

Manic Monday Bonus--Why Female Nuclear Scientists Should Avoid Love!

Presenting...

Lorraine was, as they said back in the day, a bookworm, a grind, a nerd...

So intent was Lorraine on her studies, she disdained romance in all its forms:

And, we have to say, it paid off handsomely...even though male scientists are jerks!

But they'll all be sneering out of the other side of their mouths when she wins the Nobel!

Still, Lorraine would not let love into her life...even when an uncouth carnival barker (yes, a carnival barker!!) put the moves on her. Like a Vulcan, a nuclear physicist must repress every emotion!

Ah, but when a suave fellow scientist begins to woo her, well, down come the walls of Jericho!


Well, it doesn't take long until the couple is swept away...by love!!

Even the gossip columns of the day took note of the romantic lives of atomic scientists!!!

Pierre insists they elope...

Oh, but this isn't going to end well, is it?



We shouldn't be too harsh on Lorraine. Who amongst us hasn't had a significant other turn out to be a Fourth Reich Nazi who secretly replaced a famous person who died in a concentration camp? It's practically a cliche!

Ahh, but the Nazis didn't reckon on Ed the smitten carnival barker!!


Woo hoo!

And so:

Well, that's a recipe for a successful marriage!!

...I give them two weeks.

Anyway, the moral is, if you're a nuclear physicist, don't fall in love. Or the Nazis will get you.

From Search For Love #2 (1950)